Earlier this week I had the privilege of speaking at the Mediabistro Career Circus in New York City. As I was preparing for my presentation on social media for job seekers, I kept thinking about something my grandfather used to say:
Lindsey, there’s a reason you have two ears and one mouth. Listen twice as much as you talk.
Needless to say, my grandpa was a man of few words (and I am definitely not!), so his advice had a real impact on me. And in the age of social media -- a time when everyone has a personal mouthpiece -- I believe that listening has become more important than ever.
Here are some examples, from social media and beyond, of how to benefit from talking less and listening more:
Twitter. For me, Twitter is all about listening. It provides you with the opportunity to be a fly on the wall and “eavesdrop” on recruiters from companies where you’d like to work, brands you admire, breaking news in your industry and anyone else whose thoughts, ideas and movements you want to know about. When it comes to actually tweeting, I try to stick to my grandfather’s ratio. About 2/3 of my tweets are sharing other people’s information -- retweets, congratulations notes, articles I think other people would enjoy -- and 1/3 are promoting my own blog, opinions or news.
LinkedIn. Before reaching out to request a connection with people on LinkedIn, “listen” to them first by carefully reviewing their profiles, recommendations, discussion comments and status updates. Then, when you write your connection request you can mention something you have in common or something you know is important to that person. When people see that you’ve taken the time to learn something about them, they are likely to respond more positively to your networking outreach.
Job interviews. One of the reasons that recruiters say it’s so important to prepare questions to ask your interviewer is because they want to observe your listening skills. In fact, I’ve heard that the more the interviewer talks during a job interview, the more likely the interviewee is to get the job! Why? The more you listen to what a prospective employer wants, the more you can cater your answers to fit those needs.
Salary negotiation. I used to be a terrible negotiator, so I’ve taken lots of courses and read a lot on this topic. It turns out the biggest mistake I was making in my negotiations was talking too much. In any negotiation, salary or otherwise, the advantage goes to the person who is able to gather the most information -- a.k.a. the better listener. The more you ask probing, open-ended questions and listen to the other person’s answers, the more likely you are to come to a mutually beneficial solution. Bite your tongue if necessary!
Do you agree with my grandfather’s advice to listen twice as much as you talk? What tips do you have about listening? Please share in the Comments!
