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One of my favorite quotes about fear comes from Sven Goran Eriksson, “The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure.” So often, we get in our own way of achieving what we say we want to achieve. Fear may be paralyzing and will hold you back from accomplishing your goals. Fear breeds hypocrisy; until you fully face your fear and release it, you will not achieve the success you dream of. Fear is a belief system and a voice that speaks to us on a daily basis, even when we’re not consciously aware of it. The interesting thing about fears is that most of them are learned and irrationally based.

Interestingly, some of the clients I work with allow their fear of repercussions such as being fired, not being taken seriously, not being seen as a team player, and being denied opportunities for plum assignments or promotions to stop them from asking for what they need to be productive and performing at their highest levels. I’ve learned both personally and through working as a leadership and personal coach that if you don’t ask for what you want/need, you’re most certainly not going to get it. If you express your request, you improve the chances of getting a “yes” or negotiating more closely for something that will work for all parties involved.

Here are some practical steps to help you fight throughyour fears. With any luck, by facing your fears, you may be able to get some of them to disappear all together!

Step 1 – Identify your fear(s)

In order to fight your fear, you need to know what it is. The better you’re able to understand where it’s coming from, the better your chances at fighting your fear. Whether you’re afraid of failure or success, rejection or repercussion, embarrassment or mistakes, or something else, be aware of your fears. Know what’s at the root cause of what you fear. (Read the story about my client Petra to learn how she went through the process of identifying and addressing her fears).

Step 2 – Face the fear

Recognize your fear and confront it head-on. Identify the payoff of your inaction and not pursuing your goals steadfastly. Also, identify the hardships, obstacles, roadblocks and other excuses in your life. Be aware that people around you may want to keep you where they’re comfortable; they may be afraid for you or for themselves. In addition, hear what you keep telling yourself you need to have or do before you can pursue your goal. Notice where the fear shows up physically in your body—do you get a headache, stiff back, anxiety, memory issues??

After looking at the negative consequences of your fear in each area of life, identify the beliefs that lead to this fear. Once you identify the beliefs for each area, refute them if they are irrational, and replace them with more rational beliefs. For example, if your beliefs are negative self-talk scripts, replace them with positive self-affirming scripts like “I deserve this”; “I can do this”; “I am good enough, smart enough, talented enough…”. Identify your underlying beliefs about what you’re fearing—do you feel you deserve it; do you feel you’re capable, etc.?

Step 3 – Visualize a positive outcome

Define your goal and envision yourself achieving it. Notice what you have in place to support you; who is there with you; where you are. Prepare yourself. Avoid self-sabotaging behaviors. The more you prepare, the more your fears may subside.

Step 4 – Do it anyway

Although you may have backed away from your goals previously, break it down into actionable steps and secure the resources, confidence, and support you need to step forward and through it. Check in to be sure that your goal is actually your own so that it’s not just a matte of rebellion against what someone else wants for you. The best way to reduce your fear in any area is to take action. Action builds confidence, experience and knowledge. Start off with small steps and build up your confidence until the fear is more manageable. Go boldly into taking decisive action. Persist by trying different strategies or approaches to achieving your desired outcome.

Step 5 – Assess without obsessing your results

Fear is your body’s warning siren, and it can go off even when it does not need to sound! Evaluate your fears. Positive thinking alone without taking necessary precautions to minimize risks is not enough. Figure out the messages and warnings your fear is sending to you.

Evaluate your effectiveness in facing your fears and working through them. Recognize where you are and are not sabotaging your relationships, career or life goals. Figure out why you’re sabotaging your goals by talking to people you trust, writing in your journal, and being gently honest with yourself. Just accept your reasons and you’re likely to get a sense of freedom. Make a contingency plan to hedge your risks. Even if your first option fails or gets rejected, you can maintain the status quo with a solid backup plan. If what you’re doing isn’t working, re-evaluate and do something different or do things differently!

Step 6 – Continue steady progress toward facing your fears and fighting through them

“It’s better to tried and failed than not to have tried at all” (apparently a misquote from Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem about love In Memoriam:27, 1850.) . You gain valuable experience, education, contacts, and self-confidence by working towards your goals and fighting through the fears that can sabotage your success and happiness. Recognize that it’s okay to be scared. Many people are afraid of asking, trying, working hard, pushing themselves, sharing their goals and it really is no big deal, unless you let it get in your way. ReadFeel the Fear and Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers. If you don’t have time to find the book, then just make it your motto. Feeling the fear and doing it anyway will help you overcome the fears you experience.

Setting and achieving realistic and attainable goals can be scary because it involves change and at least some degree of uncertainty. Facing and fighting your fears may be a lot of work. It takes time, patience, persistence and determination. If you have a goal, but are afraid to commit, force yourself into action by setting deadlines and gaining the support you need to move forward. Sometimes it's easier to do this type of work with someone else, so feel free to ask for help from a trusted friend or a helping professional like a therapist or professionally trained coach.

Multitasking is a cherished skill long listed in job advertisements and on resumes. However, you cannot deliver at your highest level without focusing your energies on one important thing at a time.

Here are some strategies that can boost your productivity and performance:

• Block your Time

Fully engage in the task-at-hand for a specified time allotment.  By creating time blocks you allow yourself to have razor sharp focus and you alleviate distractions. Design your time blocks to allow adequate time to complete all or a distinct piece of a task. By using one hour blocks or tying several blocks together you can gain momentum and accomplish more.

• Be Purpose-Driven

Understand the purpose of a meeting, call or task to avoid unnecessary tangents and wasted efforts. Ask questions to clarify the importance, time line, deliverables, expectations, and who else needs to be involved.

• Maximize Teamwork

Create a positive environment in the workplace that harnesses the synergy of the group. Look at things holistically.

• Simplify

Instead of trying to do everything at once, choose one defined task and do that well. You can’t possibly accomplish all of your goals simultaneously but when you focus you can accomplish one of your goals at a time. Focusing on a singular test has been scientifically proven to be more productive that trying to alternate focus between two or more tasks.

• Define Top Priorities

Everything doesn’t carry the same level of importance or urgency. Identify the ONE thing that will definitely get done each day; this is the very most important thing in your world today. Focusing on each task’s relative importance allows you to allocate your resources for maximum efficiency.

• Reorganize your Workspace

Clear a space on your desktop. Move your computer monitor and phone away from this space so that they won’t distract you. If this isn’t possible, minimize all other screens so that just the one thing you’re working on is up on the screen and turn off your email and IM alerts. Then, if you have a door, close it! If you don’t have a door, create some other means of communicating that you cannot be disturbed. Be sure everything you’ll need to complete your task is within easy reach so that you don’t need to get up to get or search for anything.

Boosting your productivity will increase your command over your workload and your sense of accomplishment when getting more done. Multitasking negatively affects your ability to focus and focus is at the core of productivity and success.  The more you focus, the more you can get done.

To boost your productivity, you may have to unlearn bad habits that have been promoted as increasing efficiency and effectiveness. Recognize how you may be preventing your own ability to focus by not eliminating distractions and interruptions. Your results are generally worse when you multitask, but in some areas they’re especially compromised, such as when you’re trying to learn a new skill. If you can’t or won’t stop multitasking, a good rule of thumb is to multitask what you want to execute, rather than absorb, and choose tasks where mistakes won’t matter.

While it varies in intensity, almost everyone I know feels some degree of guilt at one moment or another. I frequently hear clients express feelings of guilt—especially the professional career women who have young children. Although the men I work with may have similar feelings of guilt and may experience similar circumstances, these feelings are usually expressed differently. For example, Bill expressed anger and frustration at his boss’s scheduling of late day meetings that prevented him from going to his son’s baseball games. Andrew was mad because he couldn’t spend time with his very ill mother due to work and family demands.

Guilt is something that naturally transcends the entire human race because we all have a conscience. We've all probably done things that we later regret. Realize that by itself guilt is neither good nor bad. Guilt is simply a condition. However, it is often masked as a feeling. The danger of using guilt as an emotion is that it masks deeper emotions and doesn’t identify the real problem. Guilt is most frequently associated with remorse, shame or fault. Guilt may also be associated with feelings of responsibility that weren’t handled appropriately.

Guilt is one of the greatest wastes of emotional energy because it may cause you to become immobilized, debilitated or pre-occupied. It may prevent you from taking concrete actions to resolve the negative feelings. Guilt can be destructive and paralyzing. Feelings of guilt can consume you and negatively impact your life and your relationships with others. This is why it is essential that you learn how to get rid of guilt. When you don’t allow logical thinking to supersede and reject the guilt, you may keep beating yourself up for something you did (or didn’t do).

Guilt, on the other hand, may be productive if it causes you to move forward (e.g., contemplating other options or comparing choices) and gets you away from destructive behavior or thoughts. As a result of productive guilt, you may forgive yourself or others, confess, make better choices that are aligned with your values and priorities, and consciously plan activities that allow you to use your time well.

Here’s an exercise that’s helped clients move away from non-productive guilt:

1. Recognize your guilt by taking a close look at why you feel guilty or what you’re feeling guilty about as soon as possible when you start experiencing signs of guilt. Honestly identify what’s causing you guilt so that you can work toward resolving the problem rather than a symptom of the problem before it has a negative impact on your life.

2. Write down or talk about your guilt with a trusted friend, counselor or a professional coach.

3. Do something about what you are feeling guilty about rather than consuming yourself with guilt that is non-productive. If you’ve wronged someone, seek to make amends. Apologize to whomever you have mistreated.

4. Develop a written list of 10 affirmations to support the choices you’ve made, like “I am where I need to be”; “My children are being well cared for in my absence”; “I am spending money wisely and responsibly”.

5. Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that everybody makes mistakes and its part of being human.

Cick here for more resources, information and techniques for handling guilt.

Post your guilt confessions or your best strategies for overcoming your guilt by adding your comments below!! You could WIN a FREE coaching session with The Priority Pro!

In this economy, there are some unique stresses as many of you might have been laid off or taken reduced salaries. Despite this, it is critical to do the following to remain balanced:

1. Manage your stress

Stress causes damaging effects physically, mentally, emotionally, relationally and spiritually so it’s highly critical to control and minimize it. Realize that what determines if stress is unhealthy for you is a combination of how much stress you have in your life at a given time and how you react to it. Although it is not possible to live without any stress, you can learn ways to tame the stress of major events, daily hassles, and chronic life issues by managing your reactions to stress and minimizing the damaging impact. Stress-reduction is an effort requiring self-awareness, hope, flexibility, and assertiveness along with a personal strategy for handling stressful situations by avoiding, altering, accepting or adapting to the them.

2. Build a strong support network

Regardless of whether you are employed, unemployed or under-employed (meaning you’re currently in the wrong job or career) having others you can turn to is an important aspect of your well-being. Your support network includes those such as friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, former co-workers, professional associations, and experts. Tap in to these resources to get help and to contribute to others needing help. Having a number of trusted people and other resources available just in case you need them in an unforeseen emergency (or even on a daily basis) will not only give you incredible peace of mind but may be able to help you land the next job, get a loan, handle some of the home repairs at affordable rates, or even just be there to listen.

3. Maintain your health

Even if money is tight any you may no longer be able to invest in a gym membership or exercise classes, continue to exercise and eat right. Get regular exercise by walking, running, following a DVD/video, riding a bike, roller skating, or hiking. The key is to get moving by increasing your endorphins and elevating your mood. As a result, you’ll not only be taking preventative steps to maintain or achieve good health, but increasing your physical and mental outlook while you keep your body healthier and decrease health-care costs. Avoid eating excess sugary and fatty foods by opting for healthier foods and snacks that contain antioxidants, Omega 3 or other essential vitamins and minerals.

Realize that balancing your life is a challenge for many even in the best of times. With the current economic downturn, life may begin to feel more overwhelming or less in control so it becomes even more important to maintain a sense of balance. Avoid focusing on the negatives of the past or the uncertainty of the future, and instead focus on today and what’s most important to you! Have a (written) plan you can execute that will help you work toward the future you want to create. The power in the written word is that when you write it or share it out loud with others, there’s an increased potential that you’ll achieve it.

Live your life with positive energy, thoughtful planning, and conscious management of your self and your time. What have you got to lose?

Clutter is the excess stuff in your life that takes up space on your table and countertops, in your closets, attics, basements, drawers, and filing cabinets, your hard drive, inbox and your to-do list. You expend energy moving it, rearranging it, cleaning around it, re-organizing it, and simply thinking about it. Clutter is a burden on your mind because you know it’s there and oftentimes you speak negatively to yourself because it’s there.

De-cluttering involves simplifying your home and office and surrounding yourself with only the things you love, need and want—eliminate everything else! Make a commitment to start eliminating clutter from your life and you'll see an immediate difference in the way you think and feel. Removing clutter allows for more space in your life, both in time and freedom. De-cluttering is an incredibly freeing experience because you're getting rid of all the things you don't need or want and don't have time for anyway.

Conquering clutter is an ongoing battle for most busy people. With life being so busy, piles accumulate, files seem to multiply, toys are overflowing from the toy box, and clothes are bursting from drawers and closets. Here are a few ideas to help you start eliminating clutter:

·   Sort through what you have and divide it into categories or piles.

·   Go through your (electronic and paper) files and discard old memos, reports, and articles that you've been saving “just in case.”

·   Make it a habit (for you and everyone else) to always put things back where they belong.

·   Do not bring junk mail into your home or office; get removed from as many mailing lists as possible. (Note: you can contact the American Direct Marketing Association, www.dmaconsumers.org/offmailinglist.html, to have them remove you from their lists for a nominal fee; you can contact the sender directly; and indicate that you don't want to be included on their mailing lists; or, you can indicate your preference for exclusion from future mailings when ordering a product/service, or filling out a warranty card, or making a donation)

·   Clip out and file the articles from magazines that interest you and recycle or discard the rest of the magazine.

·   Give away or sell unwanted toys and other items you (or your kids) are no longer interested in. (You know what they say about one person's trash being someone else's treasure!)

·   Load up a bag of clothes that don't fit, are out of style, or are just plain unflattering and take them to a local charity, shelter, or rummage sale.

·   Get rid of the little things, like clothes, furniture, and books, and it will be easier to get rid of the bigger things, such as an unfulfilling job or a relationship that really isn't right for you.

·   Assign a home to the things that remain.

·   Use bins, baskets or boxes and labels to store items and make them easily accessible.

·   If it seems like an overwhelming job to de-clutter, break it down into manageable parts. Do a room a day for a few days. Start with a hall closet. Start on the top shelf and do one shelf at a time so if you get interrupted and have to stop, you haven't made too big of a mess. Do a file drawer. Tackle your in-box. Just keep going one step at a time.

·   Once you've eliminated the clutter, prevent more from coming in.

You pay a high price for living with clutter in your life because it makes it hard for you to function at 100%; it keeps you stuck and keeps you busy looking for things rather than getting things done. Creating space contributes to feeling better physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Once you cut clutter you will feel lighter, think more clearly, be more organized and have more energy. You'll feel like there's less on your plate!

Conquer clutter by spending a half-hour to an hour each day for a week (or weekend) just clearing out stuff you no longer want or need. If possible, enlist the help and support of your family and work colleagues in this goal. Start small with one shelf or one closet and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment as you begin creating space in your life. Gain momentum and keep it going by preventing yourself from getting overwhelmed or quitting before you experience the results. Then, move on to the next area until you've gone through every room and space in your home and at work. By eliminating things you no longer need, you will spend remarkably less time looking for things and you will have the opportunity to reach your full potential. By organizing your space you will free up your creative energy and channel it into your work. You cannot be effective when your desk is piled high with papers, when your filing cabinets are hard to manage, and when you cannot find what you need.

One of my favorite techniques for clearing physical clutter is to start with boxes labeled: sell, give away, throw away, recycle/reuse, and keep. Quickly go through a filing cabinet, closet, or drawer and place items in the appropriate boxes. If you're really uncertain and afraid of discarding—create another box labeled with the contents and date. If items are not used within a year from the date indicated, reconsider discarding at that time. It's essential to shift your attitude to "it's okay to throw away" in order to conquer clutter.

Change is inevitable – after all, nothing really stays the same.  But in today’s challenging times, it seems like we’re on “uncertainty” overload, never knowing what will happen from one moment to the next. Here today, gone tomorrow – or, at the least, very different tomorrow.

Uncertainty bring stress and confusion, and while most of us would be quick to say that we want less stress and more certainty in our lives, what we really want is less of a stress reaction to what life is throwing our way.

We can’t choose what happens to us – but we can choose our responses to the situations we encounter.  Let’s take a look at five different responses that people have to stressful situations. As you read through these five responses, you may want to think of a recent stressful event or news that you may have received, and see what your reaction to that event can teach you about how you habitually respond.  You may have one type of response at work, and another at home, or you may react differently depending on who else is involved.

The first, and unfortunately all too common response to stressful events is to suffer and be a victim to it. People who respond this way don’t take action. Things happen TO them – and though they may complain and be generally miserable about it, they don’t take any steps to do anything. They allow life to control them, instead of the other way around. This way of responding is certainly not recommended, and eventually, it will take its toll on one’s physical and mental health.

The second type of response is to accept it the situation, and to get some perspective on it.  Someone with this response may say “so what,” or perhaps get some perspective on the situation by asking if it will it matter in a year – or a week – or even in a day.

The third way to respond is to actually take steps to change the situation – taking action to bring it to resolution (or at least move toward resolution). This is a very powerful response, and one that many effective leaders employ.

The fourth way to respond is to avoid the situation. People responding this way make a decision not to get involved in a situation that they don’t see as concerning them, or upon which they can’t make an impact. For example, someone may choose not to get involved in a dispute going on within their office if it doesn’t directly involve them.

The fifth and final way that people generally respond to stress is to alter the experience of the situation. When we look at a situation differently, the experience itself changes. Changing perceptions is probably the most challenging of the responses, because we tend to be stuck in our own interpretations and assumptions about what’s happening, but it is also perhaps the most powerful of all.

It’s your world, and you can create it as you wish. Remember, what one person sees as stressful, another person barely notices, or sees as exciting and full of opportunity. How are you going to choose today?

(This was excerpted with permission from the E Factor Newsletter January 2009 - "Handling what life throws your way" © 2009 iPEC Coaching)

Be thankful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have! We all have much in our lives to be grateful for regardless of our personal or professional situation. By focusing on the positives, we come from a place of optimism and hope and allow that to expand. However, when focused on the negative, we see ourselves out of control of situations in our life; we are victims; there is no hope; and, unfortunately, this stays our truth or reality.

Adapting the attitude of gratitude will help you get by even on the roughest days. Living in gratitude helps you focus on what you have to be thankful for.

Back in 2001, following 9-1-1, my husband's job was significantly more stressful. All of the vital equipment that enabled his employer to operate was located in Tower 1. As the Director of Information Technology, it became his responsibility to get the data feeds and connections operational as soon as possible. With his average day being 15-20 hours (including his commute) it could have been easy to become angry and frustrated about the stress, long hours and feelings of not being appreciated by upper management. Instead, we talked about what we had to be grateful for and, for the most part, focused our energies on that instead.

He said that he is grateful to be alive; to have been off (at home) on September 11; to have a loving family to come home to each night; to know we were all okay; to have a career in his field of expertise; to have excellent resources at some of his vendor's companies; to have our health; to be a part of our new community; and, to have extended family and friends that were also okay.

Adapting an attitude of gratitude gives you the opportunity to change your experiences. Gratitude is a state of being not just a momentary feeling. Look at the things in your own life right now that are causing you feelings of stress, sadness or anger and consciously choose to change the experience to look at those situations with a new perspective. You can control your feelings, attitude and behavior in a situation. You can focus on what you have to be grateful for, especially in times when things don't feel like they are going well. In many cases, you can’t change the situation; however, you can change how you choose to feel about it, how you allow the situation to affect you and how you respond to it. Being in gratitude helps you remain calmer in a crisis. It helps you accept things that may be difficult to accept. It also helps you keep a positive mood while feeling more centered and balanced. When you go through your day in a state of gratitude it's almost impossible to feel down.

Although things may look bleak and hopeless at times, think about what you have to be grateful for today. Even in situations that seem far from perfect, there are valuable lessons to learn, relationships to cherish and probably numerous reasons to be thankful. Look for those things, cherish them, and appreciate them.

My challenge to you is to adapt the attitude of gratitude this week and find at least 5 things each day you can be grateful for. If there seems to be nothing, remember, you are alive; you have a roof over your head; some friends and family; food to eat; internet access, you can speak, see, hear, taste, touch and think; you have skills and talents; and, you are undoubtedly a terrific person! If you need help with this, I'm just a phone call away!  Schedule an initial coaching consult to see if working with me as your coach will help you bring more positve results in your life! Email natalie@theprioritypro.com.