Picture yourself walking through the buffet line with an abundance of choices to put on your plate. As my audiences have shared during my "There's Too Much on your Plate" program, there are many different ways to fill your plate. Some begin with the end in mind and start with dessert. Others take a little bit of everything so that they can sample whatever's available. While still others fill their plate very carefully ensuring their foods aren't touching and being sure to gather their favorites early in the meal.
How do you fill your plate?
Chances are that however you fill your plate while walking through a buffet line may be the same way you fill your plate with activities, tasks and responsibilities.
There will always be more that you can add to your plate so it's important to pace yourself whether you're eating a meal or managing the day-to-day responsibilities.
This morning I awoke to a beautiful snow fall. As I walked my dog, I delighted in the beauty of the new day and reflected on the year past as well as the year ahead. When we arrived back at home, we trounced around playing in the snow. With that burst of energy and joy I decided to shovel our front walkway. The snow was light and fluffy so the the task felt rather effortless. I looked up my long almost 450 feet of driveway and wondered if I could shovel the whole thing. I paced myself by completing a section at a time. When I was about 75% done, my son came out with a shovel and joined me, questioning why I was shoveling when it didn't seem that necessary. I responded that I was enjoying the fresh air, exercise and feeling of steady accomplishment. In the end, it took about three hours to shovel the entire driveway and walkway. I didn't know what time it was nor how much time had passed. I knew that I didn't have to finish but I could choose to continue if I felt so inclined.
To look at the long driveway, or any large project or goal for that matter, as a whole may seem daunting and unachievable. However, by breaking it down and pacing myself, I enjoyed the feeling of completion.
What can you complete a piece of today to help bring you closer to completing a task?
It's not necessarily all or nothing. Pace yourself and get the momentum going. You may be surprised with the results!!
Be thankful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have! We all have much in our lives to be grateful for regardless of our personal or professional situation. By focusing on the positives, we come from a place of optimism and hope and allow that to expand. However, when focused on the negative, we see ourselves out of control of situations in our life; we are victims; there is no hope; and, unfortunately, this stays our truth or reality.
Adapting the attitude of gratitude will help you get by even on the roughest days. Living in gratitude helps you focus on what you have to be thankful for.
Back in 2001, following 9-1-1, my husband's job was significantly more stressful. All of the vital equipment that enabled his employer to operate was located in Tower 1. As the Director of Information Technology, it became his responsibility to get the data feeds and connections operational as soon as possible. With his average day being 15-20 hours (including his commute) it could have been easy to become angry and frustrated about the stress, long hours and feelings of not being appreciated by upper management. Instead, we talked about what we had to be grateful for and, for the most part, focused our energies on that instead.
He said that he is grateful to be alive; to have been off (at home) on September 11; to have a loving family to come home to each night; to know we were all okay; to have a career in his field of expertise; to have excellent resources at some of his vendor's companies; to have our health; to be a part of our new community; and, to have extended family and friends that were also okay.
Adapting an attitude of gratitude gives you the opportunity to change your experiences. Gratitude is a state of being not just a momentary feeling. Look at the things in your own life right now that are causing you feelings of stress, sadness or anger and consciously choose to change the experience to look at those situations with a new perspective. You can control your feelings, attitude and behavior in a situation. You can focus on what you have to be grateful for, especially in times when things don't feel like they are going well. In many cases, you can’t change the situation; however, you can change how you choose to feel about it, how you allow the situation to affect you and how you respond to it. Being in gratitude helps you remain calmer in a crisis. It helps you accept things that may be difficult to accept. It also helps you keep a positive mood while feeling more centered and balanced. When you go through your day in a state of gratitude it's almost impossible to feel down.
Although things may look bleak and hopeless at times, think about what you have to be grateful for today. Even in situations that seem far from perfect, there are valuable lessons to learn, relationships to cherish and probably numerous reasons to be thankful. Look for those things, cherish them, and appreciate them.
My challenge to you is to adapt the attitude of gratitude this week and find at least 5 things each day you can be grateful for. If there seems to be nothing, remember, you are alive; you have a roof over your head; some friends and family; food to eat; internet access, you can speak, see, hear, taste, touch and think; you have skills and talents; and, you are undoubtedly a terrific person! If you need help with this, I'm just a phone call away! Schedule an initial coaching consult to see if working with me as your coach will help you bring more positve results in your life! Email natalie@theprioritypro.com.
The statistics on worry indicate that 87% of what we worry about never actually occurs or is so far out of our control that we really shouldn’t be worrying about it anyway! Worries may be over things that happened in your past which can never be changed, from irrational fears or concerns, or about things that may or may not happen in the future.
The problem is that with all the energy we put into worrying, worrying never affects the final outcome of a situation. Have you ever worried a problem away?? Not likely! However, by worrying we create an excessive negative impact on ourselves, physically, mentally, emotionally and even socially with symptoms ranging from headaches to high blood pressure or heart conditions. A worrier, with their negative feelings, often may experience some loneliness as others flee from them and their doom and gloom pessimistic thinking.
Worry can be paralyzing--it fills our life with unnecessary stress, anxiety and pressure. Worrying is a widely prevalent emotional problem yet we rarely recognize it and almost never talk about it. It infects our thoughts, our sense of well-being, and even our ability to take action; worry is so much a part of our thinking that we rarely notice when we are doing it, unless others point it out to us.
Pause right now and try to remember what's been on your mind today. What thoughts elevated your heart rate, raised the hair on the back of your neck or broke you out in a sweat? Are you worrying about finding a new job, your low bank account, your kid’s grades in school, your long to-do list, your health issues, or what your neighbors think of your barking dog or over-grown lawn? Whatever it is, let it go! Worrying is an absolute waste of your time and energy because all it really does is increase your stress and anxiety while bringing you down or keeping you stuck in a state of inaction.
Stopping the habitual pattern of worrying may be challenging, so instead focus first on restricting your worrying to that which you can do something about.Here are a few tips to help you limit your time and energy spent worrying:
1. Raise your Awareness Begin becoming more consciously aware of when you are worrying. When you realize that you are worrying, relax by taking a deep breath in and then let it out slowly.
2. Stay Present When you realize that you are worrying; ask yourself if what you are worrying about is related to today. For example, if you are worrying about a job, speech, a business meeting or a potential promotion, is that something that is going to happen today? If the answer is no, then do not allow yourself to worry about it. Stay focused in the here and now!
3. Do Something If what you're worrying about is something that is happening today, then reframe your worry thoughts into planning thoughts so that you move into action. Instead of worried thinking like "I don’t know if I got the job," reframe that into a planning thought: "Is there anything I can do to improve my chances of getting the job?” If the answer is yes, do it. If you have already done everything there is to do, then there is nothing to worry about. Focus on action and next steps!
4. Prepare, Plan & Educate When you discover yourself worrying about ongoing issues like a chronic health issues, financial challenges or a difficult relationship, replace worrying with planning and educating. Ask yourself powerful questions (e.g., “Is there something I can say or do right now to stop worrying about this?” or “How is worrying improving my situation?”) instead of staying stuck in the worrying rut, research, or seek professional help to improve your situation. Then, of course, follow up your planning with consistent action. Stay in control as much as you can so that you don’t feel powerless!
5. Control what you can Although we worry about so much that is out of our control, what we can always control are our thoughts, feelings and actions. Understand that you can only control yourself and the choices you make, you cannot control others and you cannot control many situations. Recognize that you are capable and competent and certainly have the power to affect your own life to the extent it is possible to do so.
So, when you’re aware that you cannot control a situation, rather than worrying about it, simply let it go or take concerted steps to control what you can.
Focus on what you can impact and in the words ofBob McFarrin, sing or hum…”Don’t worry…be happy!”
Over time as you take worry off your plate, you’ll likely discover more positive and powerful thoughts filling your mind. The Priority Pro can help you worry less and take more action!
Ongoing professional and personal development is the most important thing you can do to improve your business or career.
If you want to stand-out as the best-of-the-best, you need to have laser-sharp focus. This will allow you to make purposeful and significant contributions and build higher potential for success.
Many business owners and managers have taken the time to create organizational mission statements. However, few have gone through this process on a more individual or personal level. If you are one of the many who have not created a personal mission statement, now is the time to do so!
Here are five suggestions to help your write your personal mission statement:
1. Reserve some uninterrupted time to think through and write your statement. Block out at least an hour or so away from the distractions of home and work to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. Determine how you would like to invest your time and energy in the context of work, family, friends and your community. Realize that the feeling of true success comes when you have a balanced lifestyle of success, family, friends, true happiness, personal health and fulfillment.
2. Identify your main purpose in life. What do you believe your primary purpose on this earth is? How will you be able to achieve this based on how you live your life? How will you empower vision for yourself and others? (Note: your vision is what you SEE) What qualities or attributes do you admire in others and wish to embody in yourself? What principles can you learn from other successful people that could benefit you most in your work? Use a journal to record your answers to these questions as you explore and discover who you are and what’s most important to you. When you’re through with the process of questioning yourself, review your answers to observe patterns and priorities in your life. Seek out the essential elements of your life necessary to write your personal mission statement.
3. Gather your thoughts and apply your action plan. What are five goals you are committed to achieving in your work in the next year? In the next five years? In the next ten years? What specific actions do you need to take in the next year to achieve your one-year mission? your five-year mission? your ten-year mission? Now, take a close look at your action plan, primary purpose, empowering vision and the right principles. Begin to write out your personal mission statement and be sure to include family, friends and community as they apply to how you wish to live your life. Your personal mission statement should be succinct and clear.
4. Once you’re created your draft version, continue working on your mission statement by seeking input from others who can help you refine your ideas.
5. Use your mission statement as a tool to help guide you, your ongoing development and your key decisions in life and work. Keep it available and visible at all times.
Get professional help writing your statement. Contact Natalie Gahrmann!
We all have hungers (or yearnings) for things in life. The famous psychologist,Abraham Maslow,called these needs and established a hierarchy of needs back in 1943. Theoretically the lowest levels of needs must be achieved in order for us to be able to achieve our highest potential, or what he called “self actualization”.
Taking this a step further, during some of my coach training, needs were referred to as hungers in recognition that they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive that operates with somewhat of a primitive intensity and compels us to feed them at all costs.
Hungers/needsare the conditions, things, and feelings that we feel we must have in our life in order to be at least minimally satisfied or to be at our best. They go beyond the basics of food, water, shelter, and love. They generally fall into 3 categories: (1) to receive, (2) to feel, or (3) to be, do or have. Unmet needs result in feeling “bound” or “hooked” by people, events or thoughts; we are more susceptible to being sad, depressed, angry or resentful. We can get through life fairly well not having our needs met, but for an effortless, rewarding and successful life, personal needs must be identified, addressed and handled. When personal needs are not getting met, we can slow down our personal growth and development, as well as diminish our quality of life.
We all have emotional hungers, whether we recognize them or not. Hungers drive our behavior and actions. When a hunger is not being satisfied, it directs all of our available attention towards getting that hunger fed. When a person’s actions are not in alignment with what they say they want, a hunger is likely operating in their life. Realize though that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to feed hungers, but there’s nothing wrong with having hungers (it’s absolutely normal!). We don’t even need to know how a hunger got there in order to satisfy it; we just need to feed it regularly and healthfully.
For example, if you’re feeling underappreciated, in need of more respect, or anything else—figure out exactly what you want or need and then ask directly for it. Make a list of the things your partner, kids, relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, or business associates can do for you that will better meet your needs on a more regular basis.
The key is not to just make a list of your needs, but to begin making requests and asking for what you want and need. It may be hard at first, but the rewards are definitely worth it!
Hungers operate at different intensity levels and even the most deeply ingrained hungers can be more healthfully filled. The Priority Pro provides both 1-1 coaching and workshops to help individuals identify their hungers and healthful ways to feed them. One of my clients had an unconscious insidious need to please and was frequently trying to please others at the expense of herself. Through our work together, she recognized how the need was driving her and created a system to get this need fed effortlessly and more automatically. Although many individuals may have the dreaded Need to Please, the exact nature of this hunger (and other hungers) is unique and has a distinctly personal manifestation in each person.
I have studied work-life balance for well over a decade and conclude that the key reason why there’s still a gap for employers, business owners, and employees despite millions being spent in programs is because these opportunities are mostly all externally-focused. Thus, work-life balance as we’ve known for years has been primarily focused on programs, services, benefits, and the like while neglecting that true balance is internally-driven. The symptoms often associated with unbalance include overwhelm, burnout, stress and other mental, physiological and emotional issues. Yet the programs, although helpful, don’t fully address the problem.
Balance is derived from a sense of harmony, peace and alignment. One who works 90 hours a week could actually be more balanced than someone who doesn’t even work at all. Balance is about knowing what you’re doing and why you’re doing it and feeling that sense of control over your life. When you’ve usurped power of your life to someone or something, it’s that powerlessness that causes feeling of imbalance.
Some of the more popular programs including childcare, elder care, concierge services, health and wellness benefits, flextime, telecommuting, and job share help ease the burden of working long hours while managing a life outside work. They also allow for working longer hours. Yet true work-life balance is about being aligned, making the right choices for you.
My studies have revealed that it’s not just about work-life balance, time management, stress management, or increasing productivity but all these things combined to help each individual overcome what I call Obsessive Distraction Disorder (or O.D.D. for short!). Distractions increase when you’re not aligned with what’s most important to you! By targeting what matters most, decisions are based on top priorities---what’s most important to you!
The typical work-life program offerings help create more time and sanity. However, time spent unwisely is still time lost; time that can never be recaptured! Unlike other resources, time is not a renewable resource. Therefore, it’s highly important to recognize what’s most important in all aspects of your life and realign around those things. Be crystal clear about your values, integrity, needs, purpose and priorities.
Remember the old adage…it’s not about working harder, but working smarter. In this case, think more broadly, work is a part of your life that serves a specific purpose, so LIVE SMARTER, not harder! Make wise choices aligned with what matters most to you!
ost 450 feet of driveway and wondered if I could shovel the whole thing. I paced myself by completing a section at a time. When I was about 75% done, my son came out with a shovel and joined me, questioning why I was shoveling when it didn't seem that necessary. I responded that I was enjoying the fresh air, exercise and feeling of steady accomplishment. In the end, it took about three hours to shovel the entire driveway and walkway. I didn't know what time it was nor how much time had passed. I knew that I didn't have to finish but I could choose to continue if I felt so inclined.
