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Fears and limiting beliefs play a big role in our ability to unplug from work.  Many of us fear being replaced if we take time off. If we don't respond immediately to each IM, text or phone call could we really lose our job? Could we be taken less seriously when it's time for raises, promotions, or plum assignments?

Possibly!  However, the bigger block from unplugging is likely to be YOU!

Last year as we spent a week in beautiful Turks & Caicos, there were a number of people who were poolside with their laptop, PDA, or smart phone and others who locked themselves away in their room to handle business. Sadly, some of these people had families with them who were vying for their time and attention and losing big time. The well deserved and needed break from the day-to-day responsibilities was instead being driven by a need to stay connected, to feel important and to be needed. Without establishing clear boundaries, technology makes it easy to stay in touch with anyone, anywhere. On the flip-side, the convenience of readily accessible technology can also make it difficult to get connected to the people you're closest to---your friends and family; it can interfere with self-care, renewal and rejuvenation.  With stress levels at a high, it's more important today to rest and relax because we are truly less effective when we don't take care of ourselves.

The reality is that in most cases, you don't have to be available 24/7.

Here are some keys to help you unplug either at the end of the day or while on a vacation:

• Set realistic expectations and appropriate boundaries.
• Communicate when you'll be out of the office.
• Prepare your co-workers to handle most things while you're away.
• Set-up out-of-office messages on your phone and in your email. Be sure to provide back-up contacts for urgent needs.
• Define true emergencies and inform co-workers not to call unless one of those emergencies arise.
• Establish a time frame each day (at the beginning or end of the day) or specific times every couple of days that you'll be available for phone calls or email check-in.
• Create a rule in your email program, if possible, for important email to forward to a specified folder.

Unplugging begins with your mindset and willingness. The tactics are less complicated than getting around your own fears and beliefs. There's too much on your plate but there doesn't have to continue to be an over-flowing plate while you're away from the office!

I have a few clients who absolutely hate their current jobs but feel stuck where they are because they believe that there isn't anything else out there. Unfortunately, few people have the luxury in today's economy to leave a job without having something definite already lined up and the job dissatisfaction rate continues to climb. Having a job you hate is not an easy thing to deal with so here are some ways to make your situation easier to handle:

1. Maintain perspective: Know what’s motivating you to stay at a job you hate; it’s important to know why.  Is your current job the only one in your area that fits your skills? Or do you need it to keep your children fed and clothed? What attracted you to the job in the first place? Does that reason still exist? Whatever the reason, remembering what it is and keeping it at the forefront of your consciousness makes working a difficult job easier. When you do this, you end up working not for the job itself, but for whatever the motivation is behind your being there. The job becomes more than a job— it becomes a way to fulfill whatever desire moved you to take it in the first place.

2. Know what you really want: Often, a terrible job will help you be clearer about what you would want in a better job because you know for sure what you don’t want. Identify the things you desire in your job. It may help to focus on what you don’t like and note the opposite. It may also be helpful to note the things you dream about in your ideal job. For example, are your coworkers too competitive? Then, you may prefer a more team-based environment. Is your boss always second-guessing or changing your decisions? Then perhaps you would like a job where employees are trusted and tasks are truly delegated. Would you prefer a job that requires a lot of problem-solving instead of a set group of tasks? Would you rather work for yourself? Have you always dreamed of teaching for a living? Be sure to create a physical list that contains what you really want in a job. Explore how many of these things you can create in your current job situation or somewhere else in the company.

3. Make a conscious choice: Being in ‘choice’ is very powerful.Therefore after identifying your key motivation for staying at the job you hate, if it’s compelling enough to keep you there, than consciously choose to stay.  If you’re unsure about it, evaluate it further. Maybe you took this job several years ago because you wanted a job close to home beings you had small children and didn’t want to spend an excessive time commuting. Now that the kids are older, is this still important criterion? Or perhaps you took this position because there seemed to be an aggressive career path to a higher level position but it never materialized. Or maybe you realize that you qualify for lots of different jobs of the same type that you're working now, and you realize that a different work environment might make things much more tolerable. Whatever your motivation, consider carefully whether it's enough motivation to stay at the job or if you’d be better off transferring to another department or Division if you’re at a large enough company, or leaving entirely if there aren’t any feasible options within your current work environment.

4. Set weekly goals for yourself: If you really want to leave your job, set weekly goals to help you find the golden opportunity for you. One week you might research the industry, another week you might arrange three informational interviews, send out five resumes or attend a networking event. Having these goals will help you transition to something better. Doing something daily towards a new job will help give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you progressing toward a new job.

5. Re-engage your commitment whenever you feel negatively toward your job: When feelings of frustration, hopelessness, anger, or sadness about your current situation re-surface, review your choice again. Realize that even after you have chosen to stay, there may still be parts of your job that you dislike.  Let go of the negative emotions and re-focus on the positive motivations for staying.  Allow your conscious choice to stay to become the habit and motivator to continue doing a good job and contributing daily.

6. Honor your needs: Allow yourself to acknowledge whatever emotions come up for you. Don't try to hide it inside, or it will just blow out later. If you need to take a walk, or go to the restroom, take a day off, or even write it out in your private journal, do that. Letting things build up until they might explode is never a good idea. And, in the midst of your feelings, reflect back on your motivation for choosing to stay. Control your stress by respecting your needs.

7. Be realistic: If you really hate your job, don't expect to love your job some day soon. Instead, expect that you won't like it. Expect that the things that have frustrated you since the first day will still frustrate you now and will probably continue to do so as long as you stay at the job. If you expect that, the job will never sink below your expectations. However, at this point, you know that you are more than the job. You don't expect all of your satisfaction to come from that, because there are more areas in your life than just that.

8. Enjoy the Perks: Some jobs are terrible, but still have some great perks. Almost every job has at least one good perk such as a good salary, tuition reimbursement, health benefits, gym discounts, stock options, or opportunities to travel. Take advantage of whatever perks are available because even focusing on some of these more positive things may make things easier, at least in the interim until you find something else.

9. Increase your Self-Care: Going into a job you hate will be worse if you get to the office feeling rushed, stressed and frazzled and lack self-care. Set aside some moments of solitude each morning. Develop some positive daily rituals such as treating yourself to a latte, listening to upbeat music, going for a walk outside at lunchtime, getting up early enough to hit the gym before you go to the office, or connecting with friends for fun diversions. Add some humor to your day buy posting a “joke of the day” calendar near your work space. Enjoy an activity regularly that helps you unwind and get rid of tension. Be willing to treat yourself to simple pleasures to help you feel better inside. By focusing on you, your well-being, health and happiness your present situation will be more tolerable.

10. Maintain your job performance. Although you’re dissatisfied at work, it’s important to continue to do your work and do it well. Hating your job doesn't mean you can't learn new skills or be a good performer at work. Use your time to make yourself a better candidate down the road. If your company offers training courses, take advantage of them. Use downtime to learn something new on your computer. Pick up a management development book and read it (or listen to it) at lunch. Turn your job into an opportunity for self-improvement. Set personal performance goals that you’ll be able to highlight as accomplishments in future job interviews. Be sure to avoid burning any bridges at your company because you are unhappy. Instead, maintain positive relationships and grow your network.


Right now, it might seem like you will be stuck in this job forever. Keep your chin up and remind yourself that you are in charge of your destiny. Search internal postings for new positions. Start your search for a new job externally. Realize that this too shall pass!  

   We are sleep deprived as a Nation! When I polled a recent audience during a presentation about “Taming Stress in your Over-committed Life”, less than 60% indicated that they get 7-8 hours of sleep each evening. The remaining 40% reported getting significantly less!  One woman admitted to 2-3 hours of sleep each night on average.

So, what’s wrong with us?  Why don’t we get the sleep we need?Many people argue that they don’t need as much sleep as others.  Some defend their sleep patterns with the excuse of being “too busy”.

Here are some good sleep habits, I’ve adapted from a presentation I delivered for CIGNA Behavioral Healthcare that received rave reviews.  Incorporate them into your life as soon as possible!

• Avoid caffeine within 6–8 hours of bedtime.

• Avoid nicotine close to bedtime or during the night.

• Refrain from using the bedroom for any activities other than sleep and sex.

• Don’t drink alcoholic beverages within 2–4 hours before bedtime.  It may relax you and help you fall asleep but will result in a poorer quality of sleep, and more nighttime waking.

• Abstain from eating large meals or greasy, spicy, or gas-producing foods too close to bedtime.  Select a light snack composed mainly of carbohydrates instead if you’re hungry because it can help promote more sound sleep.

• Exercise regularly but don’t do it within 2 hours before bedtime.

• Minimize light, noise, and extremes in temperature in the bedroom.

• Establish relaxing pre-sleep rituals, such as a warm bath, reading, imagery, repetitious techniques (e.g., deep breathing, counting sheep), or progressive relaxation.

• If you are unable to fall asleep within 15–20 minutes after lights out, leave the bedroom and do a non-stimulating activity such as those above.

• Awaken at about the same time daily – a regular rising time is even more important than a regular bedtime.  In other words, don’t sleep in just because you can.

• Go to bed only when you are sleepy – again, bedtime is less important than rising time.

• Avoid napping late in the afternoon or evening.  If you choose to nap, do so early in the afternoon and limit it to 30 minutes or so.

• Choose a time during the day to think about your worries or concerns and make plans for handling them, so that you can avoid dwelling on them in bed.

• Sleeping pills are intended as a last resort and for short-term use only.  Sleeping pills have many side effects, and can cause drowsiness into the next day.  Their long-term use can actually lead to “rebound insomnia.”  If you have been using sleeping pills for more than a few months, consult with your doctor about how to stop them.

Here’s to a better night’s sleep!  Getting adequate sleep will help you function at your best by enhancing productivity, performance and your attitude towards life.

Be thankful for what you have rather than focusing on what you don’t have! We all have much in our lives to be grateful for regardless of our personal or professional situation. By focusing on the positives, we come from a place of optimism and hope and allow that to expand. However, when focused on the negative, we see ourselves out of control of situations in our life; we are victims; there is no hope; and, unfortunately, this stays our truth or reality.

Adapting the attitude of gratitude will help you get by even on the roughest days. Living in gratitude helps you focus on what you have to be thankful for.

Back in 2001, following 9-1-1, my husband's job was significantly more stressful. All of the vital equipment that enabled his employer to operate was located in Tower 1. As the Director of Information Technology, it became his responsibility to get the data feeds and connections operational as soon as possible. With his average day being 15-20 hours (including his commute) it could have been easy to become angry and frustrated about the stress, long hours and feelings of not being appreciated by upper management. Instead, we talked about what we had to be grateful for and, for the most part, focused our energies on that instead.

He said that he is grateful to be alive; to have been off (at home) on September 11; to have a loving family to come home to each night; to know we were all okay; to have a career in his field of expertise; to have excellent resources at some of his vendor's companies; to have our health; to be a part of our new community; and, to have extended family and friends that were also okay.

Adapting an attitude of gratitude gives you the opportunity to change your experiences. Gratitude is a state of being not just a momentary feeling. Look at the things in your own life right now that are causing you feelings of stress, sadness or anger and consciously choose to change the experience to look at those situations with a new perspective. You can control your feelings, attitude and behavior in a situation. You can focus on what you have to be grateful for, especially in times when things don't feel like they are going well. In many cases, you can’t change the situation; however, you can change how you choose to feel about it, how you allow the situation to affect you and how you respond to it. Being in gratitude helps you remain calmer in a crisis. It helps you accept things that may be difficult to accept. It also helps you keep a positive mood while feeling more centered and balanced. When you go through your day in a state of gratitude it's almost impossible to feel down.

Although things may look bleak and hopeless at times, think about what you have to be grateful for today. Even in situations that seem far from perfect, there are valuable lessons to learn, relationships to cherish and probably numerous reasons to be thankful. Look for those things, cherish them, and appreciate them.

My challenge to you is to adapt the attitude of gratitude this week and find at least 5 things each day you can be grateful for. If there seems to be nothing, remember, you are alive; you have a roof over your head; some friends and family; food to eat; internet access, you can speak, see, hear, taste, touch and think; you have skills and talents; and, you are undoubtedly a terrific person! If you need help with this, I'm just a phone call away!  Schedule an initial coaching consult to see if working with me as your coach will help you bring more positve results in your life! Email natalie@theprioritypro.com.

If your workload is rapidly increasing, you are not alone! Most people complain that there’s “Too Much on their Plate!”. Each time I visit corporations, associations, or non-profits I hear the same level of overwhelm, frustration and stress. It's funny though that everywhere I go they tell me that they have it the worse, stress is at its highest and they are working under the poorest conditions. Problem is that this issue is widely prevalent!

As downsizing continues, many employees are given additional responsibilities without any being removed. The workday keeps expanding and the expectations are increasing. Deciding what needs your immediate attention may be a huge challenge. Determining priorities is difficult because often they keep changing.

So, what's a super busy person to do to better manage everything on your plate??

Start by doing a quick inventory of all the tasks you perform daily and determine which can be...

·       eliminated

·       combined with something else

·       delegated (upward, downward or laterally)

·       changed in frequency from daily to weekly or even less frequently

·       automated

·       stopped altogether

·       less than perfect

·       avoided

·       covered by someone else who attends

Then, after off-loading or eliminating some of your more mundane tasks, seek opportunities for more challenging assignments, more visible projects, or more critical tasks to the bottom-line. This can boost your career satisfaction and performance!

Energizing programs are available for your workplace or professional association. Contact The Priority Pro for more information.

We all have hungers (or yearnings) for things in life. The famous psychologist, Abraham Maslow, called these needs and established a hierarchy of needs back in 1943. Theoretically the lowest levels of needs must be achieved in order for us to be able to achieve our highest potential, or what he called “self actualization”.

Taking this a step further, during some of my coach training, needs were referred to as hungers in recognition that they are propelled by a very strong instinctual drive that operates with somewhat of a primitive intensity and compels us to feed them at all costs.

Hungers/needs are the conditions, things, and feelings that we feel we must have in our life in order to be at least minimally satisfied or to be at our best. They go beyond the basics of food, water, shelter, and love. They generally fall into 3 categories: (1) to receive, (2) to feel, or (3) to be, do or have. Unmet needs result in feeling “bound” or “hooked” by people, events or thoughts; we are more susceptible to being sad, depressed, angry or resentful. We can get through life fairly well not having our needs met, but for an effortless, rewarding and successful life, personal needs must be identified, addressed and handled. When personal needs are not getting met, we can slow down our personal growth and development, as well as diminish our quality of life.

We all have emotional hungers, whether we recognize them or not. Hungers drive our behavior and actions.  When a hunger is not being satisfied, it directs all of our available attention towards getting that hunger fed. When a person’s actions are not in alignment with what they say they want, a hunger is likely operating in their life. Realize though that there are both healthy and unhealthy ways to feed hungers, but there’s nothing wrong with having hungers (it’s absolutely normal!). We don’t even need to know how a hunger got there in order to satisfy it; we just need to feed it regularly and healthfully.

For example, if you’re feeling underappreciated, in need of more respect, or anything else—figure out exactly what you want or need and then ask directly for it. Make a list of the things your partner, kids, relatives, friends, neighbors, colleagues, or business associates can do for you that will better meet your needs on a more regular basis.

The key is not to just make a list of your needs, but to begin making requests and asking for what you want and need. It may be hard at first, but the rewards are definitely worth it!

Hungers operate at different intensity levels and even the most deeply ingrained hungers can be more healthfully filled. The Priority Pro provides both 1-1 coaching and workshops to help individuals identify their hungers and healthful ways to feed them. One of my clients had an unconscious insidious need to please and was frequently trying to please others at the expense of herself. Through our work together, she recognized how the need was driving her and created a system to get this need fed effortlessly and more automatically. Although many individuals may have the dreaded Need to Please, the exact nature of this hunger (and other hungers) is unique and has a distinctly personal manifestation in each person.

1. Get absolutely clear about the problem at its root cause. To do this I created some quiet time and space for myself for clear introspection. What I discovered is that I had over-committed to the organization at the expense of my business, family and myself.