Welcome to MyPath

Stress can be lethal if not brought under control. It can affect your health, well-being, relationships and employment.

Many people miss the signs when there's too much on their plate.  However, there are a number of indicators and symptoms you should recognize so that you may remain calmer and more focused at completing the task-at-hand while increasing your performance and productivity.  Be aware of high stress, anxiety, frustration, irritability, depression, or inflexibility.  Notice when you become impatient with others and respond rudely. If you find yourself making an increasing number of foolish mistakes or bad decisions, pause and shift your energy so that you alleviate negative consequences.

Recognize what you can and cannot control in your life. Let go of what you absolutely have no control over and concentrate on what you can control or at least influence or negotiate.  You can regain control in many situations by simply:

·      Rethinking the ‘shoulds’, ‘musts’, and ‘coulds’

·      Acknowledging your reality and current situation

·      Accepting your abilities and limitations. Leveraging/maximizing your strengths.

·      Having a positive can-do attitude

·      Minimizing stressors

Some stress cannot be totally eliminated and is actually effective to helping you be at the top of your game.  However,many different behaviors and attitudes help better cope with stress. My personal favorites include exercising, smiling/laughing, taking things in stride/going with the flow, breathing through difficulties (too help slow things down and stay in the moment while consciously choosing how I want to respond rather than just reacting), planning ahead and creating contingencies in case things go as unanticipated.

Other effective behaviors for coping with stress so that you can increase your productivity and contentment include:

·      Defining your limits (having realistic standards and limits)

·      Slowing down (stop hurrying)

·      Learning to deal with anger

·      Using meditation/yoga

·      Avoiding catastrophic thinking

·      Listening to calming music

·      Using imagery or daydreaming

·      Knowing your natural rhythm of when you’reat your best.

·      Scheduling your day so that you have structure

·      Paying attention to noise levels and minimizing

·      Using pent up energy wisely

·      Taking time for yourself

·      Getting off adrenaline/avoiding procrastination

·      Regrouping after stressful periods

·      Eliminating worry (87% of what we worry about never occurs or is out of our control anyway)

·      Learning to say “no”

Reduce your stress and improve your productivity!  For more stress tips, subscribe to my free bi-weekly e-newsletter at www.theprioritypro.com.

While it varies in intensity, almost everyone I know feels some degree of guilt at one moment or another. I frequently hear clients express feelings of guilt—especially the professional career women who have young children. Although the men I work with may have similar feelings of guilt and may experience similar circumstances, these feelings are usually expressed differently. For example, Bill expressed anger and frustration at his boss’s scheduling of late day meetings that prevented him from going to his son’s baseball games. Andrew was mad because he couldn’t spend time with his very ill mother due to work and family demands.

Guilt is something that naturally transcends the entire human race because we all have a conscience. We've all probably done things that we later regret. Realize that by itself guilt is neither good nor bad. Guilt is simply a condition. However, it is often masked as a feeling. The danger of using guilt as an emotion is that it masks deeper emotions and doesn’t identify the real problem. Guilt is most frequently associated with remorse, shame or fault. Guilt may also be associated with feelings of responsibility that weren’t handled appropriately.

Guilt is one of the greatest wastes of emotional energy because it may cause you to become immobilized, debilitated or pre-occupied. It may prevent you from taking concrete actions to resolve the negative feelings. Guilt can be destructive and paralyzing. Feelings of guilt can consume you and negatively impact your life and your relationships with others. This is why it is essential that you learn how to get rid of guilt. When you don’t allow logical thinking to supersede and reject the guilt, you may keep beating yourself up for something you did (or didn’t do).

Guilt, on the other hand, may be productive if it causes you to move forward (e.g., contemplating other options or comparing choices) and gets you away from destructive behavior or thoughts. As a result of productive guilt, you may forgive yourself or others, confess, make better choices that are aligned with your values and priorities, and consciously plan activities that allow you to use your time well.

Here’s an exercise that’s helped clients move away from non-productive guilt:

1. Recognize your guilt by taking a close look at why you feel guilty or what you’re feeling guilty about as soon as possible when you start experiencing signs of guilt. Honestly identify what’s causing you guilt so that you can work toward resolving the problem rather than a symptom of the problem before it has a negative impact on your life.

2. Write down or talk about your guilt with a trusted friend, counselor or a professional coach.

3. Do something about what you are feeling guilty about rather than consuming yourself with guilt that is non-productive. If you’ve wronged someone, seek to make amends. Apologize to whomever you have mistreated.

4. Develop a written list of 10 affirmations to support the choices you’ve made, like “I am where I need to be”; “My children are being well cared for in my absence”; “I am spending money wisely and responsibly”.

5. Forgive yourself. Remind yourself that everybody makes mistakes and its part of being human.

Cick here for more resources, information and techniques for handling guilt.

Post your guilt confessions or your best strategies for overcoming your guilt by adding your comments below!! You could WIN a FREE coaching session with The Priority Pro!

Clutter is the excess stuff in your life that takes up space on your table and countertops, in your closets, attics, basements, drawers, and filing cabinets, your hard drive, inbox and your to-do list. You expend energy moving it, rearranging it, cleaning around it, re-organizing it, and simply thinking about it. Clutter is a burden on your mind because you know it’s there and oftentimes you speak negatively to yourself because it’s there.

De-cluttering involves simplifying your home and office and surrounding yourself with only the things you love, need and want—eliminate everything else! Make a commitment to start eliminating clutter from your life and you'll see an immediate difference in the way you think and feel. Removing clutter allows for more space in your life, both in time and freedom. De-cluttering is an incredibly freeing experience because you're getting rid of all the things you don't need or want and don't have time for anyway.

Conquering clutter is an ongoing battle for most busy people. With life being so busy, piles accumulate, files seem to multiply, toys are overflowing from the toy box, and clothes are bursting from drawers and closets. Here are a few ideas to help you start eliminating clutter:

·   Sort through what you have and divide it into categories or piles.

·   Go through your (electronic and paper) files and discard old memos, reports, and articles that you've been saving “just in case.”

·   Make it a habit (for you and everyone else) to always put things back where they belong.

·   Do not bring junk mail into your home or office; get removed from as many mailing lists as possible. (Note: you can contact the American Direct Marketing Association, www.dmaconsumers.org/offmailinglist.html, to have them remove you from their lists for a nominal fee; you can contact the sender directly; and indicate that you don't want to be included on their mailing lists; or, you can indicate your preference for exclusion from future mailings when ordering a product/service, or filling out a warranty card, or making a donation)

·   Clip out and file the articles from magazines that interest you and recycle or discard the rest of the magazine.

·   Give away or sell unwanted toys and other items you (or your kids) are no longer interested in. (You know what they say about one person's trash being someone else's treasure!)

·   Load up a bag of clothes that don't fit, are out of style, or are just plain unflattering and take them to a local charity, shelter, or rummage sale.

·   Get rid of the little things, like clothes, furniture, and books, and it will be easier to get rid of the bigger things, such as an unfulfilling job or a relationship that really isn't right for you.

·   Assign a home to the things that remain.

·   Use bins, baskets or boxes and labels to store items and make them easily accessible.

·   If it seems like an overwhelming job to de-clutter, break it down into manageable parts. Do a room a day for a few days. Start with a hall closet. Start on the top shelf and do one shelf at a time so if you get interrupted and have to stop, you haven't made too big of a mess. Do a file drawer. Tackle your in-box. Just keep going one step at a time.

·   Once you've eliminated the clutter, prevent more from coming in.

You pay a high price for living with clutter in your life because it makes it hard for you to function at 100%; it keeps you stuck and keeps you busy looking for things rather than getting things done. Creating space contributes to feeling better physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Once you cut clutter you will feel lighter, think more clearly, be more organized and have more energy. You'll feel like there's less on your plate!

Conquer clutter by spending a half-hour to an hour each day for a week (or weekend) just clearing out stuff you no longer want or need. If possible, enlist the help and support of your family and work colleagues in this goal. Start small with one shelf or one closet and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment as you begin creating space in your life. Gain momentum and keep it going by preventing yourself from getting overwhelmed or quitting before you experience the results. Then, move on to the next area until you've gone through every room and space in your home and at work. By eliminating things you no longer need, you will spend remarkably less time looking for things and you will have the opportunity to reach your full potential. By organizing your space you will free up your creative energy and channel it into your work. You cannot be effective when your desk is piled high with papers, when your filing cabinets are hard to manage, and when you cannot find what you need.

One of my favorite techniques for clearing physical clutter is to start with boxes labeled: sell, give away, throw away, recycle/reuse, and keep. Quickly go through a filing cabinet, closet, or drawer and place items in the appropriate boxes. If you're really uncertain and afraid of discarding—create another box labeled with the contents and date. If items are not used within a year from the date indicated, reconsider discarding at that time. It's essential to shift your attitude to "it's okay to throw away" in order to conquer clutter.

I have a few clients who absolutely hate their current jobs but feel stuck where they are because they believe that there isn't anything else out there. Unfortunately, few people have the luxury in today's economy to leave a job without having something definite already lined up and the job dissatisfaction rate continues to climb. Having a job you hate is not an easy thing to deal with so here are some ways to make your situation easier to handle:

1. Maintain perspective: Know what’s motivating you to stay at a job you hate; it’s important to know why.  Is your current job the only one in your area that fits your skills? Or do you need it to keep your children fed and clothed? What attracted you to the job in the first place? Does that reason still exist? Whatever the reason, remembering what it is and keeping it at the forefront of your consciousness makes working a difficult job easier. When you do this, you end up working not for the job itself, but for whatever the motivation is behind your being there. The job becomes more than a job— it becomes a way to fulfill whatever desire moved you to take it in the first place.

2. Know what you really want: Often, a terrible job will help you be clearer about what you would want in a better job because you know for sure what you don’t want. Identify the things you desire in your job. It may help to focus on what you don’t like and note the opposite. It may also be helpful to note the things you dream about in your ideal job. For example, are your coworkers too competitive? Then, you may prefer a more team-based environment. Is your boss always second-guessing or changing your decisions? Then perhaps you would like a job where employees are trusted and tasks are truly delegated. Would you prefer a job that requires a lot of problem-solving instead of a set group of tasks? Would you rather work for yourself? Have you always dreamed of teaching for a living? Be sure to create a physical list that contains what you really want in a job. Explore how many of these things you can create in your current job situation or somewhere else in the company.

3. Make a conscious choice: Being in ‘choice’ is very powerful.Therefore after identifying your key motivation for staying at the job you hate, if it’s compelling enough to keep you there, than consciously choose to stay.  If you’re unsure about it, evaluate it further. Maybe you took this job several years ago because you wanted a job close to home beings you had small children and didn’t want to spend an excessive time commuting. Now that the kids are older, is this still important criterion? Or perhaps you took this position because there seemed to be an aggressive career path to a higher level position but it never materialized. Or maybe you realize that you qualify for lots of different jobs of the same type that you're working now, and you realize that a different work environment might make things much more tolerable. Whatever your motivation, consider carefully whether it's enough motivation to stay at the job or if you’d be better off transferring to another department or Division if you’re at a large enough company, or leaving entirely if there aren’t any feasible options within your current work environment.

4. Set weekly goals for yourself: If you really want to leave your job, set weekly goals to help you find the golden opportunity for you. One week you might research the industry, another week you might arrange three informational interviews, send out five resumes or attend a networking event. Having these goals will help you transition to something better. Doing something daily towards a new job will help give you a sense of accomplishment and keep you progressing toward a new job.

5. Re-engage your commitment whenever you feel negatively toward your job: When feelings of frustration, hopelessness, anger, or sadness about your current situation re-surface, review your choice again. Realize that even after you have chosen to stay, there may still be parts of your job that you dislike.  Let go of the negative emotions and re-focus on the positive motivations for staying.  Allow your conscious choice to stay to become the habit and motivator to continue doing a good job and contributing daily.

6. Honor your needs: Allow yourself to acknowledge whatever emotions come up for you. Don't try to hide it inside, or it will just blow out later. If you need to take a walk, or go to the restroom, take a day off, or even write it out in your private journal, do that. Letting things build up until they might explode is never a good idea. And, in the midst of your feelings, reflect back on your motivation for choosing to stay. Control your stress by respecting your needs.

7. Be realistic: If you really hate your job, don't expect to love your job some day soon. Instead, expect that you won't like it. Expect that the things that have frustrated you since the first day will still frustrate you now and will probably continue to do so as long as you stay at the job. If you expect that, the job will never sink below your expectations. However, at this point, you know that you are more than the job. You don't expect all of your satisfaction to come from that, because there are more areas in your life than just that.

8. Enjoy the Perks: Some jobs are terrible, but still have some great perks. Almost every job has at least one good perk such as a good salary, tuition reimbursement, health benefits, gym discounts, stock options, or opportunities to travel. Take advantage of whatever perks are available because even focusing on some of these more positive things may make things easier, at least in the interim until you find something else.

9. Increase your Self-Care: Going into a job you hate will be worse if you get to the office feeling rushed, stressed and frazzled and lack self-care. Set aside some moments of solitude each morning. Develop some positive daily rituals such as treating yourself to a latte, listening to upbeat music, going for a walk outside at lunchtime, getting up early enough to hit the gym before you go to the office, or connecting with friends for fun diversions. Add some humor to your day buy posting a “joke of the day” calendar near your work space. Enjoy an activity regularly that helps you unwind and get rid of tension. Be willing to treat yourself to simple pleasures to help you feel better inside. By focusing on you, your well-being, health and happiness your present situation will be more tolerable.

10. Maintain your job performance. Although you’re dissatisfied at work, it’s important to continue to do your work and do it well. Hating your job doesn't mean you can't learn new skills or be a good performer at work. Use your time to make yourself a better candidate down the road. If your company offers training courses, take advantage of them. Use downtime to learn something new on your computer. Pick up a management development book and read it (or listen to it) at lunch. Turn your job into an opportunity for self-improvement. Set personal performance goals that you’ll be able to highlight as accomplishments in future job interviews. Be sure to avoid burning any bridges at your company because you are unhappy. Instead, maintain positive relationships and grow your network.


Right now, it might seem like you will be stuck in this job forever. Keep your chin up and remind yourself that you are in charge of your destiny. Search internal postings for new positions. Start your search for a new job externally. Realize that this too shall pass!  

Make the Most of your Extra Hour

Many of you will be gaining an extra hour this week as we roll the clocks back an hour. Some say we're losing an hour but I think of it as gaining an hour (“Spring Ahead...Fall Behind!”)  Fortunately, I'll be on vacation so, in essence, I'll have an extra hour of rest & relaxation.  The extra hour comes while most of us are sleeping; many choose to therefore sleep in and enjoy extra snoozing.  However, with most of us usually pressed for time and dreaming of an extra hour in our lives, what will you do with your extra hour this weekend?  And, how can you consciously create at least an extra hour every day to better manage everything on your plate vying for your time and energy?

Here are 40 tips to help you gain more time each day.  Feel free to adapt them to best fit your unique situation. I hope you enjoy your extra hour this weekend and use these ideas to start gaining time every day to focus on your top priorities!

1.      Awaken earlier

2.      Get to work before everyone else to have some uninterrupted time

3.      Have periods of time blocked when you allow no interruptions

4.      Use barriers such as a closed door, headset, or something similar to provide a clearer boundary

5.      Get your toughest task out of the way first

6.      Work within your natural rhythm - work hardest when you're most mentally alert

7.      Restrict TV watching, Internet use, email and on-line social networking

8.      Put blocks on your email inbox

9.      Process email in batches instead of constantly interrupting your train of thought

10.  Stop allowing others to waste your time

11.  Avoid casual conversations while working

12.  Use your commuting time wisely to study, plan, listen to educational or motivational tapes, or catch up on calls (with your hands-free phone!)

13.  Keep everything better organized

14.  Use your lunch hour to catch up on things so that you have more time in the evening and on the weekend

15.  Delegate both authority and responsibility whenever possible; empower others!

16.  Spend less time on unimportant tasks (phone calls, emails, talking, etc.)

17.  Think things through prior to beginning a new project or task

18.  Before each task, ask yourself "Is this really necessary?"

19.  Get a better night's sleep

20.  Skip desserts or after-dinner cocktails

21.  Stop taking smoking breaks

22.  Use your wait time wisely

23.  Multipurpose by combining tasks that are done in the same area or closely related; avoid multitasking

24.  Be prompt for all of your appointments and insist others do the same for you

25.  Outsource work you don't do well by hiring specialists

26.  Read quicker

27.  Find or create shortcuts for repetitive tasks and processes; use templates

28.  Prepare your morning items the night before (clothes, briefcase, lunch boxes, cell phone, keys, etc.)

29.  Avoid interruptions and distractions

30.  Don't make a mountain out of a molehill - avoid making a big production out of small tasks

31.  Keep a list of contact details for all of your important contacts (doctor, lawyer, accountant, mechanic, bank, family members, neighbors, emergency services, school personnel, insurance brokers, etc.)

32.  Create routines for you and your family

33.  Set a reasonable deadline for each task

34.  Use a checklist for routine or recurring tasks

35.  Post due dates and expiration dates in your planner or on your calendar

36.  Hold regular meetings with your direct reports and your boss

37.  Plan time buffers in your schedule

38.  Stop procrastinating - eliminate the urgent from your to do list

39.  Address issues before they balloon into big problems

40.  Improve your mental arithmetic

I know it's tough to break bad habits. However, it is necessary to make sacrifices so that you can be more successful at personally and professionally. Experiment with the ideas above, feel free to add your own, but to avoid overwhelm, try just one tip at a time and practice it until it becomes a natural part of your daily routine.

Too Much on Your Plate should never be an excuse that prevents you from ongoing personal and professional development. Continuing your personal development despite time and energy challenges will help you gain a competitive edge in the market while being confident and more highly employable.

So, despite the challenges, here are a few suggestions to help you continue your development:

1. Listen to educational and motivational programs.

You can turn your commute time, exercise time or even dog-walking time into life-long learning time. This is an incredible opportunity to help you stay focused, motivated and to help you advance your growth. Many books and audio programs are available for download to your MP3 player.

2. Attend seminars.

Regular attendance at educational seminars and professional conferences that is focused toward your goals virtually guarantees your personal and professional development. Experts in your field are an excellent resource to help enhance your skill set, stay on track, keep you motivated, share the latest research and trends, and offer you new insights, strategies and ideas. Stay after the event to meet the speaker in person and ask questions that can help move you toward your goals. Consider purchasing speaker materials such as books, workbooks, CDs, etc. or getting on the speaker’s mailing list or in their community to the most up-to-date information.

3. Network everywhere.

Seek to meet people everywhere you go! Introduce yourself to at least three new people at every function you attend. Be a resource to others and get to know them so that you can also help them succeed. Think of ways you can joint venture, send them business opportunities and build alliances with them. Arrive early at events to better position yourself where you can meet the most people. Practice purposeful communications with specific objectives for every event you attend. If you can, find out who will be attending and get the attendee list whenever possible.

4. Speak publicly.

Offer your expertise at conference and other key events to help position yourself as an expert in your field. A speaking coach can help you overcome fears while developing skills and confidence. Toastmasters International (personal development organization to help you become a better speaker and leader) may be available in your area so that you can attend meetings as a way of meeting new people and developing your speaking and leadership skills further.

5. Be a leader.

Develop innovative and creative thinking skills. The most successful people think strategically and take risks. Forward-thinking people are much more likely to arrange training, and thus capitalize on their investment.

Learn how working with a professional certified coach can help maximize your potential!

Visit http://www.nrgcoaching.com

When you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed out STOP!  Take a breather.  Most people tend to push harder to get more done. The result is that they increase their stress and jeopardize the quality of their work or relationships.  So, an approach I use often with my coaching clients and my audiences is to pause, take a slow deep breadth in from the nose and all the way down to the diaphragm and then blow it out your mouth.  This releases pent up energy and allows you to briefly slow things down and reflect on the moment.

Get in the habit of deep breathing so that it comes naturally as a stress-relieving technique and isn't overlooked or forgotten because your just too busy.

Another way of reminding yourself about taking control and feeling less overwhelmed is to use what I call 'anchoring'.  In the center of my palm I hold my energy, confidence, poise, and power and I have this with me all the time.  To reach it, I simply have to close my hand and connect with it!  Usually, I close my eyes too then breathe deeply and emerge ready to tackle what lies ahead of me!  Others use a piece of jewelry or other object they always have with them to help them get grounded.  They focus on this object as a physical reminder to stop and take the time to breathe deeply.

Just STOP and RELAX in the moment...you'll be glad you did! I’ll BLOG another time about how this technique has helped me as a parent. It’s pretty powerful yet simplistic stuff!